Morning and Graveyard shift sucks! With this shift, i missed every moment with my lil Kurdt. I wasn't able to give him bath, put him into sleep at noon, play with him, seeing him in his cry time..being the first one to know new tricks he learned.. waaah i do missed him a lot!
When i got home, thinking i could be with him even for a short period... Play with him, hug him, sing him a lullaby till i put him into sleep, take a nap beside him at night (which is the best part i think) and then i failed... it hurts me more!
Thinking about it makes me cry sometimes.. when got a free time but i cant be with my son.. though i cant blame others to like my son much and even kidnapped my baby for the day.. My point is, most of the time, im in the office.. 10-15 hours (travel time included) i left my baby at home.. So, can you spare this time for me???
We are still lucky to have someone taking good care of our son when we cant.. maybe im just afraid that time will come, he will not recognize me as his own mom coz i spend most of my time working! It scares me thinking that i cant even make him stop cry and make him feel safe with me.. If that happens, I will die in pain!
Greatest nightmare: My son will be taken away from me (sigh)
just a thought.. Can i stop working and stay home taking care of our son??? hahaha No way! i dont think i could live a life like that either.. haayyyy
I need a break.. again i think.. :)
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